WordPress offers daily and weekly prompt exercises to its bloggers to help spur on creativity and shape the craft of writing. My delayed response to September 17th daily prompt is below. The prompt is:
Write a story about yourself from the perspective of an object, thing, animal, or another person. http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/daily-prompt-perspective-2/
(Surprise [not]! I am writing as my cat Toby)
Um, yeah, so I’m a little rusty with the diary lately, but I nabbed the computer while mom was asleep and saw that she has a blog about me and Timba. Yeah, that’s right, no grammar rules need to apply here because I am the first cat she got, so it’s “me and Timba” and not “Timba and I” thank you very much. Timba prances about like he’s king of the castle just because he’s bigger. He actually thinks he’s a freakin’ lion, lol. But I’m numero uno around here, mama’s boy.
Ok, so she calls him Mama’s Boy too, but that’s so beside the point. Nothing to get my claws in a snag over. Claws that she clips by the way. Hello! What’s up with that? Humans have no right to clip our claws. We take care of that just fine on the furniture. At least Timba does, ha! I have more sense and finesse than him. Scratchboards, Timba. Scratchboards. Why do you think she sprinkles the good stuff all over them? So we can get high? Not a bad thing by the way. Catnip is perfectly legal in every country of every continent. Oh, yes indeed. One of the many reasons being a cat is superbly and supremely the best thing ever.
Life with mama is absolutely the best too. It’s not so bad with Timba anymore, now that he’s more mature. Well, actually now that his gonads are gone-ads, lol. Yep, the snip ‘n’ clip done toned bad ol’ Bitey Boy down significantly. Ha! It’s given me a whole new leverage regarding the once feisty little snot. Now we actually get along and have regular fur-fests all over the place. I love how our rumbling and tumbling makes mama laugh, but I don’t quite understand it. Why does she think it looks so funny for our ears to be back with our paw half-raised to egg on our opponent? That’s not silly. That’s topnotch machismo in the cat realm. You see a cat looking like that and you know he’s one bad dude about to pounce and bounce and tear up the house!
Mama plays with us quite a bit, by the way. Timba’s favorite toy is a paper wad. Nothing tunes him in like the crinkling of a piece of paper into a ball. I’m finally beginning to see the value of such a unique toy. My dopey bro carries it back to her like he’s a dog though. Hello! That is so not right. Dogs play fetch. Cats …. well, don’t! But it’s a heckuva good time to bat that thing around and run after it when mama throws it. Man alive! The best thing next to the laser toy. Well, the rods aren’t too bad – the ones with the fake mouse on the end. Yes, folks, we know they’re fake. We just play with it for your kicks and giggles. Fraudulent mice swung about my head don’t exactly appeal to me as much as they do Timba. Mice can’t fly, but dingus gets riled up as if it’s a real live flying mouse whizzing by his radar. No, I much prefer the rod part. Better yet, that rod thingy that opens the blinds is much better and more intriguing. But it sure does put mama in a tiff when I practice my batting and swatting skills on it. Huh ….
Anywho, I can see why mama likes this thing called blogging. And I definitely know why she makes us the topic of her blog. We cats are the best – the Divine Feline’s greatest accomplishment. It’s a wonder why He put humans in charge of us and to care for us, but I’ve got to say, life with a loving and interactive human couldn’t possibly be any sweeter. Let them think they rule, so long as we get regular petting and treats and drinks at the sink. Oh, and they’re our personal sanitation engineers. So cool. All we do is poop and scoop and they get the dirty work of taking it out.
So there ya go, all ye who read mama’s blog. Pardon me for butting in on an entry but I just couldn’t keep my toes from tapping the little keys once I got started. Hey, someone’s got to let you all know how it is for a cat. Why not me?
(aka Tobias the
Great, no… Tobias the Distinguished, nah… Tobias the Awesome, ach! … wait! Tobias the Most Wonderful Awesome and Greatly Distinguished Perfect Feline Ever. YES!