You Rock My World!

It’s laundry day #2, and I’m tackling the bedding in my bedroom.  As usual, my two faithful helpers have been ever-present, inspecting every detail and nuance of the process.  In stripping the pillowcases and sheets, and separating the down comforter from its cover to wash it, I had several typical cat reactions from Toby and Timba. The natives were restless indeed! Toby hopped from spot to spot on the bed to evade the “dangers” of me pulling and wadding sheets. Like a faithful “tree” kitty as opposed to a “bush” kitty, he hopped on the top bookshelf for a “safe” view of the ordeal.  Timba, on the other hand, was fully participative, white whiskers prominently displayed and pink nose at every turn. When I returned to my room from putting the bedding in the washer, Timba was sitting on the bare bed with the most bewildered expression on his face.

At this point I laughed, a good hearty one too, because Timba’s face said it all: You rocked my world!  And how true is it? The most minute changes cannot escape the attention of a cat.  And let’s face it, change is not something any cat is keen on. Environmental change can be intriguing at best and devastating at worst.  From the small things like changing the sheets, opening mail, bringing in groceries or new items in boxes, to the big changes like a trip to the vet and that ominous car ride, or moving apartments or homes altogether. Cats … do … not … like … change. It rocks their world!

But you know what? As much as we can rock the world of a cat in big and small ways alike, they also can rock our world.  Having once lived with a roommate where we peaked at 8 cats together, I have had plenty of time and opportunity to observe “cat nature” at its finest. It’s the little things that amuse me, the little things that delight me: the “eye blink” (or cat “I love you”) for example.  Now that I know that this is how cats communicate affection or acceptance, Timba and I regularly exchange affection in this endearing way. Or Timba’s paw bump to say “hey”, or tapping a paw from my side or behind me to say “gimme some love mom”, or Toby’s odd meow that is more like a prolonged “meh”, or Timba’s “Mike Tyson” high-pitched meow elicited from that big brutish body. From Toby’s sophisticated paw drinking method to Timba’s subtle eye and ear signals that say “you’re pissing me off human” (which I do intentionally quite often because it’s so darn cute and amusing), they rock my world.

The big things do as well, like the fact that I seriously considered getting rid of Toby to spare him from Timba’s early harassment phase.  Or the time that Timba chased a paper wad over the side of the bed facing the wall and suddenly went quiet.  He had gotten stuck upside down. I knew something was wrong, called his name, heard him struggle, and just as I lunged to rescue him he came struggling back up the bed and literally gasped for air for the longest minute or two ever. I can never forget that day, and about tear up just writing this. It was such a scare, rocking my world so bad that even a few months later when he flies over that side of the bed to chase Toby or toys I tense up and listen for signs that he’s moving on elsewhere, despite now keeping the bed a safe distance from the wall.

I love my two cats. I really do – they rock my world and have changed me. Life is better, my perspective is better, my heart is better. I’m so glad I can rock their world too, because the ways in which they react to it rock my world in turn, giving me moments of laughter I will forever cherish.



5 Careers My Cats Would Thrive In

Let’s face it – people who love their animals tend to anthropomorphize them.  We ascribe human characteristics and personality traits to our pets.  Maybe it’s a reflection of our inherent nature to connect and identify with the world around us, to see a part of ourselves in something other than ourselves. I’ve discussed this in a few of my posts, but most recently in my post Cats Mimic Their Owners. Hardly a day goes by where I don’t have some kind of anthropomorphic thought going through my head. I will see Toby or Timba do something or portray a facial expression and in my head or out loud I will say what I think they are thinking or saying. This tendency of ours is taking off in social media in the form of putting captions to photos and sending them off into cyberland to go viral.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what my cats do and what they’re good at.  Pouncing on me and picking at the door when I’m not in the bedroom are at the top of the list, but number one is just being cute. Hey, I have to exercise a little bias every now and then! It didn’t take long to realize that, in true anthropomorphic form, there are several professions and occupations in which Toby and Timba would absolutely thrive if they were human.

1.  Masseuse: I used to have a cat named Grace who was hands down – or paws down – the best kneading cat ever. Minus the drool, massages from Grace were heavenly.  She was declawed so there were no unpleasant acupuncture surprises.  She would knead me several times a day, as much as I’d let her. The plus side? She knew how to spend time on her clients.  Sadly though, I had to find Grace another home.  Toby has never kneaded me or anything in his life, but some time after Grace was gone, it was as though he felt a need to fulfill that role. Now he employs himself regularly as my personal masseuse, and I have to say, he’s not too bad.  He’s no Grace, due in large part to his kitty ADHD. Just as I am beginning to enjoy the bliss side of Toby paws, he stops and lays down on me or springs from my body (aka his personal trampoline) and bemuses himself with something else. Sigh. Toby, if you want to succeed in life, you’ve got to not only focus on quality but quantity.

2.  Surgeon:  Toby would also be the surgeon in my little fur family. Well over 10 years ago a doctor diagnosed me as having a lipoma in my left side. It is a benign tumor of fatty tissue and feels like a big knot.  Oddly it seems to feel larger than at other times, and I think this has to do with intestinal pressure perhaps making it more protuberant. At any rate, Toby seems to have an affinity for locating this mass, and he faithfully encounters it when he’s occupied being my little masseuse. He takes his tiny paws, otherwise knows as drill bits, and digs them into the spot directly or sometimes around the edges of it. I could swear he’s trying to get that thing out of me. It is by far one of the most painful nerve pains I’ve ever encountered whenever he hones in on it. I’d love if my cat were a well-paid surgeon bringing home the big bucks for mama, but I just have one tiny suggestion for improvement: Can a cat mom get a little anesthesia before you dive in, Toby? Thanks! 

3.  Sumo Wrestler: This is where my big boy thrives. When Timba was younger he was a hellion to be around, that is, if you are a cat. To get the full picture of just what a piss-n-vinegar rascal he was, take some time after this to read My Cat, The Bully. He has mellowed out with a little age and probably with a lot of help from what we sensitively refer to as “the surgery” (aka neutering).  Timba now playfully interacts with Toby instead of harassing him into an all out Fur Fest. Timba has also gained weight, but he has a large frame so he doesn’t necessarily look fat, just large. So the times he tactically seeks out Toby, or the times that Toby foolishly seeks some fun with his now-only playmate, it’s more of a wrestling competition instead of a badgering boxing match replete with four sets of switchblades (when I don’t clip the nails, that is).  So if you were to visit me, it would not be an uncommon thing to see my sumo wrestler pinning my Tiny Toby, rolling around the bed or floor and squashing the “oomph” out of him.  Timba may have Thai roots as a Siamese cat, but he’s all Japanese warrior at heart!

4.  Detective:  While Toby exhibits the usual amount of kitty curiosity, Timba would be the official detective of my fur family.  Absolutely nothing escapes his attention. When something new enters the home, or when a noise makes itself known, Timba is on it like white on mice.  He’s also subtle, and this is a strategy necessary to thrive as a detective.  Timba moves slowly, not because of his size, but because of intent. It’s his best offensive trait and it wins him the prize he seeks, or a bunch of laughter from me.  I have a feeling that if I lived in the country where I’d feel safe letting him be an indoor and outdoor cat, I’d have more than the typical share of “presents” at my doorstep due to his sleuthful expertise. The downside to his investigative skill would be that he will inevitably find what he isn’t suppose to find and put it in his mouth.  I have managed to eliminate the rubber band and twist tie household risks, but God forbid I drop a pill or a piece of garlic when he’s watching.  It is a race to see who will get there first!

5:  Interior Decorator:  Both of my cats would definitely thrive at interior design.  They are creative in how they approach their environment and very astute observers.  Like I said, when something new comes into the home, enter kitty paws and noses for a full tactile inspection.  They move things around on me, and often for the worst.  At least in my opinion. I’m sure when the shelf they jump on (to window watch from) topples over they merely shrug and wonder when I’m going to put it back up for them. When the cat post tips over as they play ring around the rosy around my bed they just use my body as a post or springboard.  They also like to re-arrange the placement of their toys, which secures the accrual of new toys.  Five minutes after purchasing a pack of mice and balls they are all under the bed, where mama cannot and will not go.  I do delight in one particular arrangement, however.  Whenever I’m gone for a while, I come home to a pile of toys on my bed.  It always makes me smile to think my fur babies missed me and were wanting me to play with them.  And let us last but not least forget the one accentuation that all cat owners must endure: hairballs and spews.  Why, Toby, do you have to spew from the cat perch where it splatters so inconveniently?  Perhaps he’s a burgeoning artist?

So there you have it! What careers or occupations do you think your cat (or dog) would thrive in? Comments are open and welcome 🙂


My Two Cats Gets A Face Lift

My Two Cats got a face lift the other day – a little cosmetic improvement courtesy of the new ability to adjust font and colors.  I like the new look I have, but feedback is welcome. If you follow me, you’ll see that I’ll play with the font and color from time to time, perhaps around seasonal times or significant things.  For example, April is Prevention of Cruelty to Animals month, and it is represented by the color orange. I went “orange” on Facebook, but I’ll withhold it here as the month is nearly gone!

Other improvements which I hope are on the horizon include writing and content changes, such as being more relevant and consistent.  I apologize for my slump and gaps between posts.  Unemployment and a long season of financial struggle, whether employed or not, has really “had my number”.  I’ve joined the 2 week WordPress 201 class to learn how to be a better blogger, and I’m hoping that the experience will be a positive outcome for me and readers alike.  I love WordPress and the community feel to it.  I’ve tried other blog sites and they just don’t compare.

I’ve had more success so to speak through WordPress and the two blogs I have here.  I can’t say if it’s the timing, the content, or any number of factors.  However, I can say that the interaction between bloggers, and the support and involvement of WordPress employees definitely plays a role in how My Two Cats (and Coffee With Jesus) are viewed and received. It’s a great place to “hang out”, meet new people of an amazing variety of beliefs and interests, and a great place to share my two wonderful furbabies and life with them.

So I hope the new look is fun and inviting, and I hope that the changes that will unfold in time will come together to make a more enjoyable place for readers to visit and interact. I will also be updating pictures and pages, so be on the lookout for recent pictures of the lovely boys that inspire me and inspired the birth of My Two Cats!

Cheers to face lifts and growth on the inside and out!

Happy Grooming 🙂


Your Cat Can Do What You Can’t

So I’m laying on my bed, hand to mouth in contemplative mode.  Toby and Timba alternate laying on a blanket a few feet from me, on my hip, or curling in my arm.  In the process of turning around to find the proper “curl” position, I am met with what I call the “heinous catanus” (pronounced kuh-TAY-nus).  Yes, the heinous cat butt pose, which is never found in any other place than in a human face.  I’ve seen so much cat rear in my 3 years of having them that I care not to count.  I’d be interested in the stats though.  I’ve heard it said that God knows the number of hairs on our heads.  I’d like to ask him someday just how many times I’ve been exposed to a furry behind.  Hmm …

So in the midst of moving Timba’s rump out of the way, I began thinking on less philosophical and weighty issues and began to wonder about all the things that cats do to us but we can’t do to them.  I daresay putting our butt in their faces would have any effect.  I’ve actually done this when trying to sit down where a cat has taken my spot.  Toby has the good sense to move, but with Timba I have to half sit on him, wiggle my rear a bit and tell him to move.  It’s mostly a failed attempt and I have to pick his cozy large body up and laugh at his pip squeak of a meow.  He’s kind of like Mike Tyson – a big brutish body with a tiny high-pitched voice.  And sometimes he bites, though I haven’t lost an ear.  Whew!

So here are a few things I notice that your cat can do to you but you can’t do to them:

1) Your cat can inspect your food and sneak a bite or two.  It can sniff your drinks, paw them, topple them, and get hair in them.  You can’t do this because it would mean bending down, getting on your knees, and stooping your head towards the cat bowls, which a) is uncomfortable, b) would make you look nuts, and if caught, go to the “special” hospital, c) there’s already hair in the water, along with pieces of litter from tiny dipping paws, and d) it would in no way have the same effect as your cat’s inspection of your food – in other words, it wouldn’t bother your cat in the least, whereas it ticks you off to no end when dear kitty head bumps your bowl of chips and spills them all over the floor (personal experience, grrr!)

2) Your cat can dig its nails into you and flex its toes for pleasure while kneading and drooling, but you can’t dig your nails into it or flex your fingers into its fur because a) it’s pointless, b) it doesn’t feel good or make you zone out and drool (ice cream, music, or a back massage will suffice thank you), and c) your hand would become the target of a brutal attack resulting in severe infection whereby you would die and God forbid become cat food if no one were to visit you for a few days.  Whew! And eww

3) Your cat can make all manner of noises day or night.  It can play chase, bang into things, roll toy balls across a wooden or tiled floor, scratch a variety of surfaces, or paw the chirpy toys right as you’re drifting to sleep.  You can’t do this because a) who plays chase in the house when you can just watch the cats do it, b) it hurts to bang into things, c) making noises have no effect upon your cat except to pique its interest so it comes snooping to see what that delicious, new curious totally not annoying sound is and whether or not it can be pawed or mauled, and d) it doesn’t matter if you make chirpy noises to wake your cat, the little bugger sleeps 18 hours a day!

4) Your cat can sit on you, lay on you, walk on you, and spring from you.  You can’t do this to it because a) you’d squish your cat, b) he’d be severely injured or die, and c) that would so not be cool because it would be traumatically sad and cost you fines or imprisonment for animal cruelty.  No one would understand that you merely wanted to reciprocate your feline’s affections in a way that it would understand.  Stick to the “I love you” wink, which seems to be the only way to communicate on their level so far as I know. (Thanks for the tip, Jackson Galaxy!)

5)  And finally, your cat can lick the Netherlands and sniff his pal’s rear (and I mean a good, hearty, up close inhalation) and still receive facial kisses from you at some point during the day.  You can’t do this to your cat because a) it doesn’t care where you lick or who you sniff, and b) it’s not going to kiss you at any point during the day.  You might get a lick just to see if there’s any residual flavor of food, but the only puckered flesh aimed at your face you’re ever going to get from your cat is that “heinous catanus” mentioned above.

So pucker up folks, and accept that there are some things in this life that your cat can do to you but you can’t and probably don’t want to do to them!

The World’s Top 10 Best Images of Cats Getting Married

Hey ya’ll, this is a great blog and one of my favorites in my WordPress Reader … encourage you to follow The World’s Top 10 of Anything.  Here’s one of my favorite posts from it:

The World’s Top 10 Best Images of Cats Getting Married.

via The World’s Top 10 Best Images of Cats Getting Married.

Yay, A New Blog Award!

Thanks to Playful Kitty for nominating me for The Dragon’s Loyalty Award.  I have read that it’s a combination of the Very Inspiring Blogger and the Versatile Blogger awards.  To be honest, the best part about receiving this award is that I’ve discovered a great blog in Playful Kitty, along with a bunch of other cat related blog connections!  I can’t wait to dive through some of these blogs she follows and see what other cat lovers are meowing about 😉

The Rules of Receiving Award:

Display Award Certificate

Announce Your Win With A Link to Whoever Nominated You

Present 15 Or So Others With the Award & Comment On Their Site You Have Done So

Post 7 Interesting Things About Yourself

So in following the rules of the award, here are some blogs I really enjoy (in no particular order) and think they deserve an expansive readership:

In a S(k)nit


Voices In His Head

Post-It Happiness

The War In My Brain

All Those Small Things

The World’s Top Ten of Anything

7 Things About Mwa:

  1. I love African music and culture and cherish my friendships with them
  2. Hence, I love the African djembe and will someday buy another one and NOT sell it in a bind, and continue with local workshop drum fun!
  3. Ok, so I love all cultures and wish I had money to travel, but I have the gift of having many international friends and acquaintances here in the U.S.
  4. I have another blog called Coffee With Jesus that is on the more serious side but hopefully as enjoyable to others as My Two Cats
  5. I am originally from Niagara Falls, NY which is probably why waterfalls are one of my most favorite things in all of nature
  6. I hope to someday be a published author
  7. My top two “love languages” are “words of affirmation” and “quality time.”

There ya go friends! Thanks again to Playful Kitty’s nomination and to all of you who enjoy My Two Cats.

Love to ya;)

The Cat Says Meow: Daily Prompt

WordPress offers daily and weekly prompt exercises to its bloggers to help spur on creativity and shape the craft of writing.  My delayed response to September 17th daily prompt is below.  The prompt is:  

Write a story about yourself from the perspective of an object, thing, animal, or another person.

(Surprise [not]! I am writing as my cat Toby)

Um, yeah, so I’m a little rusty with the diary lately, but I nabbed the computer while mom was asleep and saw that she has a blog about me and Timba. Yeah, that’s right, no grammar rules need to apply here because I am the first cat she got, so it’s “me and Timba” and not “Timba and I” thank you very much.  Timba prances about like he’s king of the castle just because he’s bigger.  He actually thinks he’s a freakin’ lion, lol.  But I’m numero uno around here, mama’s boy.

Ok, so she calls him Mama’s Boy too, but that’s so beside the point.  Nothing to get my claws in a snag over. Claws that she clips by the way.  Hello! What’s up with that? Humans have no right to clip our claws.  We take care of that just fine on the furniture.  At least Timba does, ha! I have more sense and finesse than him.  Scratchboards, Timba. Scratchboards. Why do you think she sprinkles the good stuff all over them? So we can get high? Not a bad thing by the way.  Catnip is perfectly legal in every country of every continent.  Oh, yes indeed.  One of the many reasons being a cat is superbly and supremely the best thing ever.

Life with mama is absolutely the best too.  It’s not so bad with Timba anymore, now that he’s more mature.  Well, actually now that his gonads are gone-ads, lol.  Yep, the snip ‘n’ clip done toned bad ol’ Bitey Boy down significantly. Ha! It’s given me a whole new leverage regarding the once feisty little snot.  Now we actually get along and have regular fur-fests all over the place.  I love how our rumbling and tumbling makes mama laugh, but I don’t quite understand it.  Why does she think it looks so funny for our ears to be back with our paw half-raised to egg on our opponent? That’s not silly.  That’s topnotch machismo in the cat realm. You see a cat looking like that and you know he’s one bad dude about to pounce and bounce and tear up the house!

Mama plays with us quite a bit, by the way.  Timba’s favorite toy is a paper wad.  Nothing tunes him in like the crinkling of a piece of paper into a ball.  I’m finally beginning to see the value of such a unique toy.  My dopey bro carries it back to her like he’s a dog though.  Hello! That is so not right.  Dogs play fetch.  Cats …. well, don’t! But it’s a heckuva good time to bat that thing around and run after it when mama throws it.  Man alive!  The best thing next to the laser toy.  Well, the rods aren’t too bad – the ones with the fake mouse on the end. Yes, folks, we know they’re fake. We just play with it for your kicks and giggles. Fraudulent mice swung about my head don’t exactly appeal to me as much as they do Timba. Mice can’t fly, but dingus gets riled up as if it’s a real live flying mouse whizzing by his radar. No, I much prefer the rod part.  Better yet, that rod thingy that opens the blinds is much better and more intriguing.  But it sure does put mama in a tiff when I practice my batting and swatting skills on it. Huh ….

Anywho, I can see why mama likes this thing called blogging.  And I definitely know why she makes us the topic of her blog.  We cats are the best – the Divine Feline’s greatest accomplishment.  It’s a wonder why He put humans in charge of us and to care for us, but I’ve got to say, life with a loving and interactive human couldn’t possibly be any sweeter.  Let them think they rule, so long as we get regular petting and treats and drinks at the sink.  Oh, and they’re our personal sanitation engineers.  So cool.  All we do is poop and scoop and they get the dirty work of taking it out.

So there ya go, all ye who read mama’s blog.  Pardon me for butting in on an entry but I just couldn’t keep my toes from tapping the little keys once I got started.  Hey, someone’s got to let you all know how it is for a cat.  Why not me?



(aka Tobias the Great, no… Tobias the Distinguished, nah… Tobias the Awesome, ach! … wait! Tobias the Most Wonderful Awesome and Greatly Distinguished Perfect Feline Ever. YES!